While there isn’t a one glove fits all fool-proof way to ensure that your relationship doesn’t end in a breakup. There are 5 easy things to do if you feel your relationship is heading that way.
Remember that heartbreak is as much a part of life as breathing, eating etc. The majority of people will have had their hearts broken.
In a way you can take comfort from that – that even if your relationship does break down, there will be people everywhere who will have felt that anguish and will be able to empathise with you. Enough of that let’s all love each other stuff now – let’s get to the point – here are 5 easy ways to save your relationship.
Give Your Partner Space
This is probably the hardest thing to do if you feel your relationship slipping towards a breakup. We grip it tightly as a gut reaction and smother our partners to make sure they know how great you are together.
Except that often leads to what is known as a push-pull scenario. You push for more affection and they pull away.
A relationship is like a flower that both of you invest time in – watering it, making sure it is fed and given enough sunlight etc. But like a flower, there is only so much cultivation that you can do actively. For the most part you need to let the relationship grow naturally with minor bits of input here and there.
Like a flower, if you smother a relationship – it will die.
Ask Yourself – Why?
One of the best bits of advice I have ever been given was that just because I think or feel a certain way about something doesn’t mean someone else is.
In fact; taking that one step further, I can pretty much say with a high level of confidence that your partner won’t be thinking the same things as you. They won’t be thinking about carrying out your worst fear. They won’t necessarily feel like anything is wrong with the relationship!
With that in mind – ask yourself why? Why are you feeling this way? Is it something that is actually happening or is it imagined? Is it something that is happening in another part of your life and spilling over into your relationship and making you feel insecure?
Use the time that you are giving your partner a bit of space to take a time out yourself. Meditate, pray or do whatever makes you feel at one with yourself.
Oftentimes when we take a step back and assess the bigger picture we realise it had nothing to do with our partner at all, we felt insecure because of something that happened in the past or because Susan got the promotion at work instead of you.
It is crucial you use this time to evaluate whether the issue is real or imagined and if it is real – is it actually pertaining to your relationship or something else?
Get Plenty of Sleep
I am going to write a separate blog post about sleep and rest so make sure you check back on the blog for that one as it will be incredibly beneficial. You can subscribe to get updates and not miss out! All of our content is free with no banner ads and spam – we craft it because we love sharing our stories and helping people.
Away from plugging the subscribe button – get plenty of sleep. Not just sleep for the sake of sleep. Make sure it is restful, peaceful and uninterrupted sleep.
When we are tired, we can’t gauge our emotions properly. Have you ever heard the expression too tired to think? Sometimes we can be so loaded up with emotional baggage that we become exhausted and overwhelmed.
This often leads to anxiety and broken sleep and a vicious cycle ensues. If you feel as though you are more tired than usual or worn out, the chances are that you probably are.
Set time out of your busy and hectic life and create an environment where you can get a great night’s sleep. You will be surprised at how effective this is.
Relax and Have Some You Time!
Contrary to popular belief, a relationship isn’t two halves making a whole. A healthy relationship is two wholes making something new. Sometimes we become so blinkered in our relationship that we forget it is vital to do things for ourselves.
Not only is it absolutely crucial for our own wellbeing, it is important for the relationship. Remember your partner was attracted to the “single” you. They wanted to spend time with the you that had your own life and interests.
Use this time to re-connect with yourself, take up an old hobby or start a new one. Enjoy doing things that build your self-worth and focus on spending quality time – with yourself. It doesn’t have to be an extravagant hobby – personally, I like nothing better than to stick a video game on and make some monster’s head explode.
If you’re not one for gaming, then binge watch a show that you like, listen to your favourite music, read a book. Learn that not all aspects of life are consumed by a relationship and in truth, most successful relationships function where the partners spend as much time apart as together.
Get Back to Basics
Hopefully, by now you have given your partner plenty of space and allowed yourself time to rest and get a better perspective. It’s time to reconnect, but don’t rush in like a bull in a china shop.
Going back to the point that your partner fell in love with the “single” you it would be great to reconnect in a way that stirs up happy memories of your early courtship.
Keep things simple, visit a restaurant that you had your first or best date. Go back to a place where you connected with your partner and relax into a new version of your relationship. One where this time you allow it time and space to grow.
To read more about how to improve yourself as well as some awesome relationship tips make sure you check out my book Being Human – for the price of a McDonalds happy meal – it could hold all the secrets to make you truly happy with yourself and with your relationships.