Society provides a paradoxical mixed message when you try to understand why you’re special. On the one hand, society conditions you to believe you’re not special, and on the other hand the ‘follow your dreams’ messaging is incredibly strong.
You can’t have both; you can’t simultaneously tell people they are not special and then tell them they should be special. At some point in all of our lives, we have all thought that we are special in some way. Normally, this feeling is followed by a sense of guilt or shame.
Let’s find out why you’re special and why this social conditioning telling you that you aren’t is nonsense.
The Programming Problem
From an early age we are conditioned to conformity and uniformity. Don’t stand out, don’t believe you’re different to others – stay humble.
Stay Humble Culture
The stay humble culture is a control resistance pattern put in place to ensure you don’t rock the boat.
People who rock the boat are unpredictable and society doesn’t like unpredictable. It prefers predictable little minions that tow the societal narrative line.
Society is now riddled with this conditioning:
- Everyone gets a participation prize,
- Workplaces that promote “team players” over individual excellence,
- Scrutiny of anyone who dares to talk about their success.
On social media, you can only ‘humble brag’ without being torn to shreds. Confidence is often described as arrogance or narcissism.
The Resistance of Stay Humble Culture
There is a very big reason this social engineering is going on. It is far easier for societal structures to control people who are crippled with self-doubt and who don’t know how to share success meaningfully.
You can’t control someone with a ‘big ego.’ Society wants hoards of people with small egos or better still no egos at all.
Why does this equate to resistance?
It’s simple, we all have natural gifts and talents. These gifts and talents are often extremely diverse. Some people have extraordinary gifts they deliberately conceal. It has become the norm to apologise and self-deprecate, to dim the natural abilities you have to contribute to the world.
And this is draining. Fighting your nature as a human being requires constant effort and it is exhausting. Mental health issues prevail in modern society because no one feels comfortable about expressing themselves, being confident in their abilities and sharing their talents.
Your Internal Battle – Why You’re Special
In this world of being told we are not special, there is a paradoxical pull within many people, arguably all people, where they feel drawn to something bigger.
This internal drive is often met with resistance, and quite often most people will not share their dreams or state they don’t know what they want to do in life.
They may legitimately not know because they have drifted so far from natural alignment, they have become confused. Either way, the internal battle is often one that you feel but can’t express, because playing small allows you to fit in.
Unfortunately, living in this way is damaging; you will never know what you’re actually capable of.
Natural Flow Differences
At the same time society teaches us we are not special, it also tells us that everyone is different. Another paradox.
No two people are the same, in myriad ways, not just small differences, sometimes extraordinary differences when quantified. This is for good reason. In natural flow, life is experiential and there is no point of nature exploring experiences if they are all the same.
Your skills, interests, and perspectives are uniquely yours. It is important to note that special in this respect doesn’t equal better than someone else. No one is better than someone else overall, it means different from everyone else.
You may well be better at many things than someone else, but likewise, they will be better at many things that you’re not very good at. In the round it all balances out naturally.
The only time it doesn’t balance out is if someone is living in resistance and is unable to leverage their natural abilities.
Finding Your Natural Current
There are three ways to help you find that natural flow and discover some of your talents. You may have read to this point and thought, well I have no hidden talents, which is in itself a resistance pattern you have conditioned yourself into believing.
- Approach activities by assessing whether they energise and excite you. Staying away from activities that feel draining.
- Embrace activities that give you an internal sense of authenticity. A feeling of ‘I was always meant to do this.’
- Pursue interests you are continually drawn to, even if you get pushback from other people or society. For example, if you want to make pottery but no one in your friend group thinks that is cool, ignore them, do it anyway.
Your Uniqueness – Why You’re Special
So, what makes you unique?
Besides your genetic makeup, there are plenty of personality aspects that give you a different perspective to life than others.
We all look at the world in different ways, see problems and solutions in various ways and naturally approach challenges in ways others wouldn’t.
We also have varying speeds of decision making and action taking. Our energy patterns are also fundamentally different.
Your outlook on life, how you navigate through life itself, and your personal drivers are all very different to someone else. You may encounter like-minded people, but they are never the same as you.
Flow vs. Resistance Distinction
Being special can be approached in a resistant or natural flow method.
If you’re believing you’re better than other people by default, operating to protect an image of superiority and feel threatened by other people’s success, you are operating from resistance.
This kind of resistant special thinking is energy draining, requires a lot of effort to maintain and ultimately it feels hollow. Living in this frame of mind will always be unsatisfying.
Natural Specialness
Natural specialness is purely intrinsic to who you are. It is the thought of ‘this is who I am.’
It feels like being at home in your body, you excel at the things you enjoy without effort and share in other people’s success, understanding that they too are special in their own ways.
This natural specialness provides a deep satisfaction, or in wisdom speech, is food for the soul. It nourishes you and you’re someone who is confident in their abilities and authentic.
How to Tell the Difference Between Flow and Resistance
It is very easy to understand whether you are approaching specialness from flow or resistance.
Flow specialness feels expansive, like the world is full of possibilities and the people around you are to be celebrated for their uniqueness.
Resistant specialness feels tight and restrictive. It creates anxiety, depression, bitterness.
Finally, when in flow, your ability to understand your specialness and your contributions is endless. Forcing specialness will inevitably lead to a mental collapse and burnout.
The Navigation Method – Why You’re Special
How do we apply this to our lives?
Well, first, stop conforming to what you feel you should be doing and start enjoying your quirks. Embrace the things that interest you and understand it is not a fault to excel at something.
You will notice that when you focus on the things that you truly enjoy, the results are disproportionately good compared to your expectations. Other people will notice your success and take a natural interest.
Practical Steps – Why You’re Special
There are various practical steps you can take to embrace your uniqueness.
Understanding basic premises like ‘what makes you odd makes you valuable.’
Stop apologising for your quirks. Don’t worry about having opinions or being noticed as an outlier. Humans are not supposed to fit into standardised moulds.
Don’t overthink things, your gut feeling often directs you better than your brain when it comes to embracing the things you want to do in life.